Weekend with the boys

I had such a great weekend with my boys. Its just strange though. Everytime I visit with them there is a re-acclimation period that takes place. Usually its about 24 hours sometimes it’s a little longer. Im not sure if I should consider it a de-programming and re-programming situation or not. I know from the hints that I hear there is a lot propaganda thrown against me in that house. If there is something wrong its usually daddy’s fault because he moved to Bahrain. I pick this up in both words and actions. But I don’t want to defend myself as that would be putting them in the middle. I do find myself having to bite my tongue more than a few times as I don’t want to say anything bad about X in front of them.

What is also an adjustment period for me is their age. They are getting older and they want to be treated like adults. Now the boys are still 14 and 11, and I understand part of that. It’s a maturation process that Im not privy to for an extended period because of the geographic distance. At first my oldest son wanted a webcam to maintain that intimacy but for her own reasons, X refuses to allow one in their house. So its down to phone calls.

I picked the boys up and we went out to Dinner on Friday night. The plane was a little delayed and there was loads of traffic, so I didn’t get to them until very late. The anticipation was really tough to take. My car hadn’t been driven for five months so it needed a jump start. I thought it would charge itself, but the battery kept dying. So I felt a little stranded after dinner at Steak n Shake. I went to Target to buy some jumper cables. By the end of the night I was absolutely zonked. I had about 4 hours sleep in 72 hours and didn’t know which end was up. But thankfully I slept through the night and was over my jetlag within about 12 hours. I remarked to the boys how cool it was that in the morning I was halfway around the world and a day later Im having dinner with them. My system seems to be working. Im getting used to the global travel. The next morning we needed a jump again to get started and we headed to Jack in the Box…I crave Jack in the Box breakfast as it used to be a daily ritual with me. I left the car running this time while we ate, then Max wanted to head off to a Magic class. He’s really into being a magician right now, He’s quite passionate about it. When he was young, he developed quite an admiration for a magician named Johnny Ace Palmer who was an award winning magician that lived in Los Angeles. Max had arguably the best birthday party ever with him. (Don’t you think?) It left an impression that is taking its roots today. So Im all for encouraging whatever he wants to be passionate about, which X does as well. Even though she has her disagreements with me, we both want what is best for the children. She is a good mother. Im thankful for that. Hopefully someday we’ll be able to be civil enough to have a conversation again that revolves around the kids. Ive reached out several times to spurned. There are still very negative feelings on that side. Spencer and I spent some great time together wile Max was in his Seminar. I do love that kid. Im pretty happy in Bahrain…but I’d be deliriously happy if they could somehow either lived with or visited me. But X is steadfastly against that, so I would need some sort of miracle, but my God is in the miracle business. So maybe I should commit that more to prayer. I think living abroad for a season and getting to know friends from vastly different heritages would be an incredibly learning experience for them.

Today, Sunday we were able to go to Lakewood Church. I do miss going their every week. Its like filling up my emotional spiritual tank. There is so much energy at that church. The worship is simply amazing. That’s really the main message behind Lakewood…the power of praise. The main part of the service is the worship as Joel often says, with the message being secondary. They don’t play the worship aspect on TV so the critics only go after half of Joel’s message. We went to lunch together while I changed the battery in my car finally. I had kept the car running all Saturday after I couldn’t find the right battery at Wal-Mart. Then we came back to watch 30 Rock and play games. By then it was time for them to go back home. I hadn’t seen them since July. I asked X to have extended time, but she refused. Going by the decree which has become her bible. So I have to return the kids Sun. night and get them back Wed. night. I think she get some sort of satisfaction by being vindictive like that, but really it’s the kids that lose out. So Im making the best of a negative situation. The surprise which I alluded to a few weeks ago in the blog is now happening. Im flying to florida for a quick face to face introduction to Ms. Florida. So Im maximizing my time in the U.S. Im actually writing to you from somewhere above Louisiana at the moment. It will be interesting to see how this one clicks. This is my third trip back to the U.S. thus far, and on each trip I’ve met a different girl, but so far, no love connection. One of these days though…there are going to be sparks. Im not discouraged though as each one…well maybe not the LA one, has become a dear friend. Im only in Florida for three days so Im not missing anytime with my kids. I fly back on Wed. for Thanksgiving. My parents are flying in for Thanksgiving with me, at this point only Max has decided to spend it with me…even though its my year. X is having a competing Thanksgiving meal and has convinced Spencer and Lindsey to spend it with their family instead of my parents and I. Oh, Im sure she’ll be upset when she reads this and declare that it was entirely the children’s choice, but if you believe she had nothing to do influence that decision, I have some patches of desert to sell you in Bahrain. This is what Parental Alienation is all about. But Im more confident than ever that the children will see through the actions and recognize truth sooner rather than later. Wow…that came across very negative. I need an attitude adjustment. But anytime Im with the kids and then have to leave them, it reminds me that Im divorced. So sometimes the bitterness creeps in just a bit…I have to fight against that. I don’t want to be defined by being a bitter person. I’ll work on it. Please pray for my children to change their mind so they will spend Thanksgiving with me during my year (according to the decree). I don’t think I’ll be able to come back and see them for another six months, so every 24 hour period is precious to me. They get their mom and her new in-laws (whom they’ve only knows two years) all the time. It’s not exactly fair…but when has Divorce ever been fair. God and I still hate it.