Its an interesting quandary Im in. To blog or not to blog. Im sure this will create quite a firestorm. We did have a very nice Thanksgiving. My middle son, and my parents and I all went out to a fabulous and trendy restaurant in downtown Houston. The food was absolutely fabulous. But there was a heaviness at the meal. My youngest and oldest both decided to skip Thanksgiving meal and have it with X and new hubby’s family. Everyone is adamant on that side that it was the children’s choice. I think what we have here is yet another example of parental alienation. I have a feeling im being vilified in that house in a very subtle manner. The subtly is one of the main factors in Parental Alienation. I don’t think the children should have a choice in where they spend the holidays especially since X is so adamant about going by the decree. According to the decree its my year. Its peculiar, when the kids were younger, I would often ask them where they wanted to go eat, Burger King or McDonalds? for instance. X would often berate me telling me I was giving the children too many options/choices, they are children and adults should make the decision for the children. Yet here we are a few years later and X is allowing the children to make this big important decision of how they should spend the holidays and if they should see their father. Keep in mind, I specifically flew half way across the world just to be with my kids during this holiday. What makes the children’s choices even more curious are the facts. They have known my parents (who also flew in specifically for them) their entire lives and they have known new hubby’s family less than two years. Since the “new” family also lives in Texas they also see them much more frequently as compared to how often they see me or my parents. Yet they still chose to spend Thanksgiving with the “new” family. I think there is a lot of manipulation going on here, especially with my youngest son. I know I chose to live halfway across the world but when I try to make the best of the situation Im squandered at nearly every turn by the “new” family. I only have 7 days total (X refused me access Mon-Tue of this week according to the decree-her new Bible) and Im loosing three of those days because they chose to have Thanksgiving with the “new” family. Well…it pisses me off. If that was the goal of X…which Im sure it was, well it worked. Not necessarily because it hurt my feelings, but I think the long term damage that she is inflicting on the children is very damaging. That’s where I really get angry. Im sure somehow X will twist this back on my like its my fault. She always has a tendency to blame everyone else for her problems other than herself. Im the target of most of the hatred at the moment. When we were married…it was someone else that was always the target of hate.
I did talk to my daughter twice today which was half-fabulous. The first time I just grabbed the phone from my mother, so she wasn’t expecting it. We still had a pleasant conversation until the call dropped. The second time was later in the day. It was a tough phone call where she told me she didn’t want to see me. I haven’t seen my daughter in nearly two years. She then went on to all the complaints she had against me. But on more than half of the complaints, I answered her in emails which should have fixed the problem. I can’t speak to my daughter on the phone directly (or she chooses not to speak) so instead I’ve been sending her emails for the past 9 months since I learned her email address. But my daughter told me she hasn’t gotten any of the email that I sent her. This confirmed my suspicions. I saved and printed all the emails that I sent to her. I have a feeling that someone (most likely either X or new hubby) is accessing her account and deleting them. I know that accusation is quite heinous but some of the other things they have done have been equally if not moreso worse. I have proof that the emails were sent. In fact I went through the emails that I sent my middle son, and he claimed that he only received half of the emails. Now I can see 1 or 2 maybe not getting through..but all of them to my daughter not getting through and ½ to my son makes me very suspicious…I think there are some more overt manipulations going on. It’s a horrible horrible situation and I really don’t see the benefit in any of this. Im ready to move on to peace and harmony for the kids. Im sure X will throw this all back on me like its my fault, but just look at the actions and evidence. 20 Therefore by their fruits you will know them. I hope I am judged by the fruits that Im producing. Please continue to pray for the relationship with my children. It just seems to be getting worse rather than better.
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