Perspectives

What a very nice day it has been. I woke up to find a nasty comment posted by X on the blog. I generally don’t delete comments unless they involve references to my children. But I read this and the only motivation I could find was X to be vindictive and hurtful. What struck me the most was really sadness…almost pity that so much hate can come from one person. Not in words but in actions. I had a talk with Ms. Florida about it. There is a part of me that will always love X because she is the mother of my children. I still care for her very much and wish we could communicate more about the children. But there is just so much animosity from her that it just makes communication impossible. This backwards way of through the blog her reading and responding is the only way we can communicate. That is really sad, especially since she was my best friend for so many years. I hope with time, someday we will be able to talk again. That is my prayer anyway. So I called Ms. Florida and talked to her about it and she asked…how does this make you feel? I can honestly say it didn’t affect me…maybe it stunned me for a moment but I don’t dwell on the negative. I’ve found whenever there is bitterness, anger and resentment that build up in my heart the quickest way to extinguish that is to pray for that person. The Bible does say Pray for those who persecute you. I think its psychologically impossible to hate someone you are praying for. I don’t know how it works, but it works. So I pray for X and new Hubby every time my mind is tempted to dwell on the negative.. I think that is one of the reasons why I can keep such a positive attitude. I was speaking with Ms. Ireland a little later in the day. She really is a dear friend. She said…you are the most positive person I’ve ever met Rick. I don’t know how you do it. So we started talking because Ms. Ireland happens to be a lovely girl that tends to be on the negative side A LOT. I explained that her negativity is familiar and she’s comfortable in the familiarity. If she wants to adjust that, she has to make a conscious choice to look at the bright sides more and its just not going to happen overnight. Just like you can’t run a marathon overnight…you have to build up your endurance one mile at a time. Positivity is a process that can sometimes take weeks, months, or years. I believe that all Christians…or Christ followers should be inherently Joyful, Peaceful and positive most of the time. Otherwise I think you are doing something wrong. The Joy of the Lord is our strength and its also the most effective witnessing tool we have. The positive focus is the criticism that Osteen falls under. You are going to have crappy things that happen to you…like that comment earlier today…but how you process that information determines your level of peace and joy. I could have dwelt on the injustice and got all angry and said…It’s not fair.” But who is that affecting other than me? Bitterness can’t exist with peacefulness. So I just let that kind of crap go. My buddy said…Bitterness is a poison you ingest and hope the other guy is going to die. I can honestly say I hope that X is happy. Because if she’s happy then the kids will have a better environment to be reared. That is my constant prayer. The kids have already lost so much they don’t need more strife. I know I do talk about X a lot, but this is not meant as a character assassination. If I wanted to do that…I’d share more of the details. Instead I try to talk in more generalities, and am trying to use myself and my experiences as a case study for others. Most of you have no idea who X and will never ever meet her, so she is like a character in a play as far as the readership is concerned. So I try to share my frustrations and successes not to tear her down, but instead to serve as a cautionary tale at the devastation of divorce. She may indeed be happy that is between her and God…but it sure has desolated everything that I had once held dear. The rebuilding process was difficult, but because I leaned on the Lord so heavily he used this negative experience to build me up into the man I am today. What the devil meant for evil God will turn for good. Im a walking infomercial for that verse. Im not totally healed from the divorce, and I probably never will be, but I think Im mostly healed. I think true healing will come when I finally get married again and have an outlet for the love that I have inside. I hope that some of you that read this, gain what Im trying to accomplish in warning you that Divorce simply sucks. If you’re thinking about it, don’t. Love is a choice, Marriage is a commitment. Like everything in life it has its challenges…you just have to be resolute enough to work through those challenges. With God and perseverance anything is possible. Without God…its awfully difficult.

Wow…I didn’t mean to get all preachy there. The words just kind of flow sometimes as I feel an anointing from the spirit. Maybe somebody, somewhere out there needed to hear that.

I had such a nice day. After church I went out to eat with friends at a place called the Country Club. They have pork bacon…Yay!!!! Then it was off to the British Club to play Darren in squash. Darren just came back from a 3 weeks medical missions trip in India. It was nice to connect with him. Yet he beat me again. This is becoming a habit. I don’t like losing. But its great exercise that’s mostly why we do it. But it would be more fun with a few more victories under my belt.

Then tonight my muslim friend that often comes to our Positive living group invited me out with his friends. What a great night we had. The weather was almost perfect…like San Diego. We went to downtown and ate in a little café. The food for 5 of us was around $12. It was delicious. But it was getting to know knew friends that was the really nice part. These guys were all muslims, many from Pakistan and Bahrain. But we just had such a nice time talking about Christianity, Islam, and life in Bahrain. Afterwards we went to desert at this great little café. These are Sheesha cafes where they smoke fruit flavored tobacco, like grape, cherry, strawberry etc…out of something like a bong. I didn’t smoke, but the restaurant was full of them. This smokeless tobacco does give you a little bit of a buzz Im told. Im told its somewhere between cigarettes and marijuana. The deserts were nice, but the conversation was even better. Im living a pretty cool life out here. Im fortunate…but I do miss the relationship with my kids. Please continue to pray for the restoration of that relationship. I see your prayers working first hand. Thank you.