Marriage

I apologize for the delay in writing the blog. Thanks to all the readers that have encouraged me to keep going with this. I’ll probably be more faithful writing when I return to the Middle East. Right now, Im just spending all of my time with Jennifer and having a wonderful time. Even as I write this, I don’t feel like Im sacrificing anytime with her as she is busy writing her blog.

So here is the big news…Yesterday Jennifer and I officially…and legally got married. At first Jennifer wanted a small ceremony but when she thought about the logistics of planning in the midst of her full career and trying to finish her dissertation it just seemed quite overwhelming to her. I could go either way, but I preferred a small affair. It is the second wedding for both of us. It seems like second weddings should be small. It’s like we would be saying “Hey never mind about this first one, this is a do-over…we’re really serious now.” Plus another thing…I hate..is when people say they found their soulmate. How many people do you know say they found their soulmate the first time around with their original spouse? It seems like the word “soulmate” many people use to justify the failure of a previous marriage so they can go into another one. Like it legitimizes the divorce or something. Does this mean Jenni is not my soulmate? Im not saying that at all. Jenni and I approached this relationship different than most couples I think. We are two very passionate, impulsive, wild, spirit-filled people. When we are together sparks fly. We just feel so natural together. We were walking to an appointment a few days ago and I told her I already feel like an old married couple. Meaning, I haven’t felt this comfortable before with anyone in my life. Even though we have only known each other for a few months she knows ALL of my deepest darkest secrets and fears and I know hers. Some couples never reach that type of openness and intimacy with each other and here we found it after just a few months. We took a pre-marital survey course with Graeme my pastor in Bahrain and in the spiritual aptitude portion we were an absolute perfect match..that of course is the most important key to any relationship, commonality with faith. Everything else are just details. Jennifer and I are both determined that this will work. We just have to look at our Indian friends. They have a 1% divorce rate in India. Why? Because divorce isn’t an option. So Jenni and I decided early on…our first week…that we knew that we’d spend the rest of our lives together. We also decided that divorce would never be an option. We’ll kill each other before we get divorced. (That might not be so far-fetched…☺ ) As long as two people have that mindset…not about the killing…but about the perseverance…any relationship can be successful. Love or better yet…emotions fade and grow over time, like the tide constantly rolling in and out. We are going to be with each other during low tide and high tide. I’ve used a lot of metaphors for Jennifer and I’ve come up with yet another one. She’s like a bucking bronco, I just have to hold on. Im not sure she’ll ever be tamed, nor am I certain if I want her to be tamed. Instead Im just in for a wild ride, so far it has been pretty spectacular.

As for the details of the actual day yesterday. I met Jenni’s parents at her house in the morning. They are a young couple (for parents)…only about 18 years older than me (Jennifer is young…29…SCORE for rick!). They seemed like a lovely couple that had been married for 38 years (mine have been married for 48 years). So that’s some good spiritual lineage. They both have thick Carolina accents, especially her dad. Her mom seemed as sweet as she can be. So my parents arrived shortly thereafter and we all headed to the downtown courthouse in Raleigh. Jennifer and I registered and received our marriage license the day before. So we get to the courthouse room 921 which was holding civil ceremonies from 10:00-11:15, in between were worthless checks hearings. So we waited and paid the judge $20. He had done this hundreds if not thousands of times before yet going through the verbiage it felt like the very first time for Jennifer and I. Our gaze was locked into each other’s eyes and the rest of the world just faded away. I remember saying…”I will” and she said “I will” then the Judge said…”by the powers vested in me by the state of North Carolina, I pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.” So we kissed, softly (no tongue) and Jenni said…”Is that the best you got?” Then something happened that I think was the most special moment of the day. My father and Jenni’s father, David, both signed the certificate as witnesses. I was so proud to have them both their doing it. Her father joked, “Im putting my name on the line here so you have to make this work.” I was pretty thrilled to have my parents there. They were so proud and so happy to see me happy. They really love Jennifer. They had been with me step by step over the last few years and to see me happy and in love again just warmed their hearts. I do love my parents dearly. This has brought us all closer together as a family and the celebration with my new family was made all the more appropriate.

Jennifer and I flew out to spend our honeymoon in Houston, Dallas, and then a road trip back to the Carolinas. I know not the most ideal place to spend the honeymoon, but its my home in the U.S. nonetheless. My father got up at 4:30 am to take us to the airport and didn’t complain at all. He really is a great great man. I love him a ton. He is a great example of what a husband and father should be. I hope I can emulate his role.

For now Im embarking on a fabulous life with Jennifer. Its not going to be just a good life…but for the last year my life has been spectacular. The exciting thing is, the best is yet to come.