First Day Back in the Middle East as a Married Man

I got to JFK last night. A hard night turned out to be a little easier when they upgraded my flight to Business Class. It was only a 12 hour flight, compared to the normal 17 hour but still it was a great perk. Im getting spoiled in Business class. I tried to sleep a little bit, but I kept awakening at my own snoring. Im a little congested. Even though it was a great two weeks with Jennifer, I was sick the last week of it. But, now that I have health insurance I was able to see a doctor and come back with loads of medicine. I even have around a year’s worth of insulin. I would have had to buy everything full price here.

I got to the Dubai airport and then it hit me. I was alone. I had been in the Dubai Airport before with 6-8 hour layovers and I was alone and in no relationship then. But this time, I was alone but lonely. But it was a good kind of lonely. Now that I’ve tasted what it felt like to be loved again, it just made me crave it all the more. I had adjusted to life as a Bachelor again, but now that I’ve had the married life, it makes me want it full-time. It’s a hopeful loneliness knowing that its all so temporary. It could be 2 months or 6. Im obviously hoping for 2, but we are living this life according to God’s plan. Im sure he has a purpose in this. So should we have waited to get married til we could live together? I don’t think so. It feels a whole lot safer (emotionally) and more secure knowing I have a wife waiting for me rather than a fiancé or girlfriend. As much as I trust God, the divorce really scarred me, as I’ve noted time and time again. But what I haven’t told you is that I had developed an incredible and mostly irrational fear of rejection. Even with my strong faith, the Enemy knew that this was my Achilles heal at the moment and that is where the attacks came from. You see the enemy will attack you wherever you are most vulnerable. Like he attacked me with the pornography issue in years past. But now that Im over that issue his attacks don’t work anymore so He’ll try something else. Now that Im married and the fear of rejection is gone, Im sure he’ll keep looking til he finds a weak spot. When he touches that nerve and you react…you better believe he’ll go for the jugular. Its like a shark smelling blood. For the past four years I went out on a lot of dates. But I was petrified of giving my heart to someone and then having them reject me for some reason. I told Jennifer this early on and she has been wonderful about caring and meeting my needs. She told me her emotional/psychological needs too (we all have them). So im making sure I can make her feel as safe as she makes me feel. All in all it’s a pretty incredible relationship. She’s pretty, brilliant, confident, funny, articulate, spiritual, faithful, passionate, and she instantly became my best friend. Its nice when your life partner is your best friend. So with all that, there really was no reason to wait. Im a now, now, now person anyway. If we were going to be married in a year why not just do it now? We already had the “storybook” wedding the first go around…didn’t really need it for this time.

When I got to Dubai, not only was I feeling lonely, but also greasy and sweaty. The showers weren’t working in the Business Class lounge. So I complained and they let me take the shower in the First Class Lounge. I guess I forgot to make it back to Business class lounge after my shower ;o) I hung out in the first class lounge the rest of the way. There really wasn’t much of difference other than the food being out of this world good. There were certainly less people and it was very quiet. The chef’s made everything to order and the service was first class. Even though my heart was missing Jennifer…this helped a lot.

I got back to Bahrain at 3 and finally unpacked and in bed by 4:30 am. I got up a few hours later and made it into the office. My co-workers really like me. They all got so excited about my marriage. The sudden nature didn’t surprise them, because they a. know me and b. Indians get married suddenly like this all the time. I brought them all back Chocolate Easter Bunnies. Now this might not seem like a big deal in the U.S. but these gifts were a big deal here. Think about it, this is a Muslim country Chocolate Easter Bunnies here is like America without any reality TV shows. Its possible…just not very likely.

I was a zombie at work today. It was hard to concentrate as the jet lag was getting to me. Hopefully I’ll go to bed in a bit and sleep through the night. The first night to getting over jetlag is key. I’ll try to be more faithful writing in the blog now that I’m alone with more time on my hands. Thanks for sticking with me.