It was a rather bizarre day. I just woke up with a heaviness over me. I couldn’t really explain why, but I was just depressed. I was very fearful of the future. I guess you can rationalize that since I’ve been on top of the world seemingly for the past few months, I was due for a letdown. Maybe that was it. Nothing happened today that really warranted me being afraid of the future. That is so out of character for me. But I did what one should do in these types of situations. I just had a long talk with God. Then when that didn’t help, I just spent a lot of time in prayer rebuking spirits and such. When that didn’t work, I just praised him. I took my iphone and plugged in some praise and worship music and sauntered down the boulevard silently worshipping and praising. Normally I belt it out, but since there were hundreds of people around, I thought that might not be the most prudent thing. So I worshipped on the inside. When there was enough separation I would let a few praises slip out. I think the key is to praise even though you don’t feel like it. I trudged through. God has been faithful time and time again for me. I know he would come through eventually this time as well. Soon whatever heavy spirit that was over me, disappeared as mysteriously as it arrived. That kind of confirmed to me that it was some sort of spiritual attack. We know the enemy comes to lie, steal, and destroy. He’ll put irrational fears in your head trying to evoke a reaction. Well Im determined not to let the enemy steal my joy. He has stolen so much already. I am the one that controls whether or not he steals my peace. So I held fast in my faith knowing that whatever it was that was dogging me, would pass too. It eventually did. Now Im doing much better. I think it’s a combination of things that are bothering me. The deteriorated relationship with my family, being physically separated from Jennifer, embarking on a risky venture, living far away, having no close relationships here yet, technical issues at work, money, etc… If ever there was a time for the enemy to strike, I guess now was the time. Im glad I held firm and didn’t resort to self-medication as we are all prone to do sometimes.
Its going to be a very busy and critical week for me. Your prayers are appreciated.
The good news is on a personal note that means nothing spiritual. There is a free weekend on nfl.com. So Im watching four games on my quad screen on my computer in HD. This package isn’t available in the US. So the Raiders are coming up next. Im pretty entertained.
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