Wow, Im wordy. I guess that is a good thing since I bill myself as a professional writer. I thought I could get through this top 10 list with maybe one or two pages. But as I write I find myself reliving the experiences. I love details and stories. So I keep wanting to add detail at every turn. So hopefully I can get through this list quickly as Im trying to stay in sync with Jennifer’s blog jenni-sloan.blogspot.com/ I am copying her format anyway so props to her. I would also encourage you to keep your own top 10 list, and do it every year. What a wonderful way to relive moments in your life especially a few years down the road when we forget everything. If you think about it, can you really remember even the best thing that happened to you in 1999 or 2003? What about the fifth best thing that happened two years ago? Memories fade but words have a lasting impact. I wish I would have started this years ago. On with the list.
#4 Spending a month with the kids and Jennifer during the summer in San Francisco. Wow was there some drama around this one. I married Jennifer in March 2010 and we had the opportunity to fly out Texas so I wanted her to meet my children. I let X know when we would arrive. But when we got there she had taken the kids away. I was really heartbroken. Imagine flying halfway around the world and not being able to see your children. This was made worse since I hadn’t seen them for nearly six months. So I planned on the kids meeting her in July instead during my court-ordered visitation. I sent several letters stating my exact arrival date both through my lawyer and direct email. But as I suspected when I arrived she hid them again. Im sure she was thinking that I wouldn’t take her to court since it would be a long drawn out process and I had to get back to the Middle East. What X didn’t realize, that with Jennifer’s full support, I resigned my position in Bahrain with the sole purpose to fight to see my kids. So Jennifer used up all of her vacation time and we waited in Texas for the subpoena and the court date. This was done at considerable expense and frustration but the kids were worth it. My wonderfully supportive parents flew in from California to be with Jennifer and I during this hearing. One thing about Alienation, is not only do the kids lose their relationship with their father, but the father’s family as well. The kids and my parent used to be very close. Now my parents have only seen the kids once in the past two years. How is that healthy for them? It’s heartbreaking for my parents, they are not dealing with it as well as I am. But alas, I digress once again. So the judge took the kids off into a separate room for which I was thankful. My parents and Jennifer were anxiously awaiting in the other room. It was stupid that I had to spend money on a lawyer and go to court in the first place. All I wanted to do was see my kids. I told the judge passionately, nearly in tears, “I haven’t seen my daughter in two years. All I want is to visit with them.” Well the judge saw right through the technicalities that X was trying to hide behind. It was a 100% win. She was ordered to give up the kids and pay the court costs. I could have charged her with contempt of court (and easily won) but all I wanted to do really was see the kids. When I picked up the kids they were so angry with me. My oldest wouldn’t even look at me, and the kids didn’t really speak for two days. Nevertheless I flew them to California to my parents house and we all had a great time, although my kids won’t admit it. We went to amusement parks, they spent time with their cousins, saw family, went swimming most every day. The most important thing is they got to meet Jennifer and were de-brainwashed/alienated for a short period. They really liked her at first. In short, they just were around family that loved them. We were not the monsters that we were portrayed to be. The good feelings lasted while they were in a positive environment but it quickly vanished. They went home and were quickly convinced (rebrainwashed/alienated) that maybe they didn’t have that great of time after all. But it does give me hope for the future that time and love will heal the wound. But they have to be out of the negative control of that environment. If they were to express love to me in any form, they would be shunned in their own house. So their reactions during this difficult time really are an emotional survival instinct.
#3 My first skype conversation with Jennifer This was the first week of January. It started out that we were IM chatting with each other, then it turned into a phone call, then webcam. I printed out my first real IM chat with Jennifer on this day at it was 55 pages long. Both of us are very fast typists you see. I re-read it sometime back and it is hilarious. Some of it would even be publishable. Its just very witty and entertaining. We followed that up when she got home from work with the webcam. It was clear to see even then that we would marry each other. We were both so intrigued and amazed by each other. The fact that we were physically attracted to the other was a relief. It was the following day that I told her I loved her for the first time. It was plain for us both that it was “Love at first Skype” I tried to hold in those words “I Love You” until I met her face to face for the first time. But I just quite couldn’t help myself. It was like I was bursting. I had been searching and praying for her for two years and God answered my prayer. By the time I realized what time it was, it was 8:30 am. I had literally been chatting/talking/camming with her all night long for 12 hours straight. It was a very strange feeling that 12 hours felt like 12 minutes and we easily could go another 12 hours. I decided to go to church and forego sleeping altogether. So I showered and remembered that I was floating. I think I told Russ or Darren that I met the girl I was going to marry. They just rolled their eyes. I mean after all…I’m the guy that has conversations with God. So my friends take me with a grain of salt and I accept that. I was doing fine through the song service until I sat down for the preaching. All my euphoria from the talk with Jennifer went out the window as I fell asleep during the service about 10 times. Its only noticeable when you head droops forward and you jerk your head back startling yourself. This was the great advantage of Evangel College. I had to go to chapel everyday at 10:00 am. Not only did I graduate with a non-official minor in Chapel (40 credit hours) but more importantly I learned how to sleep sitting up. For the rest of my life that will be one of the most important things that College did for me
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