Its Christmas day and I just can’t help from admitting that it doesn’t feel like Christmas. Last night I was walking on the JBR promenade and I saw a stand for Santa that was going to be up from Dec. 23-Jan. 1. I thought, don’t they realize that Santa pictures are supposed to start in November? And what is the point of Santa after Dec. 25? It shouldn’t be a big surprise that they have Santa or that they celebrate Christmas. I heard the song “Away in a Manger” being blasted through the loudspeakers. That is a very Christian song. I have said this before but it bears repeating. Muslims believe in Christ, they think he was a great prophet. Only they don’t believe in Jesus as the Son of God. But strangely enough they do believe that Jesus is coming back someday for the rapture.
Really the place it only feels a little like Christmas here is the malls. But when I think of Christmas in the US, I think of red and green everywhere. Here there are just not the prominent colors. Another reason it doesn’t feel like Christmas is that Im working today. Im in the edit bay our post facility. We have a Jan. 2 deadline so its important that I make as much progress towards that as possible. Most everyone here is working today. I even got a parking ticket. Who gets a parking ticket on Christmas Day? Apparently me. Im writing this blog because I don’t want to keep directing our editor. Everytime I make a comment it slows down his flow. That is why I don’t like Executive Producers to view Assemble or Rough cuts as they make too many changes. So Im going to let Mobeil our editor do his thing then I’ll step in. Jennifer is presently getting on a plane in London and she’ll be here in 6 hours. I think just having her here will make it feel a whole lot more Christmassy. (I can’t believe Christmassy is a word. My spell check is accepting it). I was invited over to a Christmas Dinner with friends so that will help with the festive spirit as well. I hope to speak with my kids today too…but that might just be an unrealistic dream. Isn’t it sad when I have to make it a prayer request to speak to my own children on Christmas Day? I love them dearly and I miss them so. I try not to think about all the great Christmas’ that we’ve had in the past because that would just depress me too much. I just need to focus on the present and what I have now and will have in the future. Its like Joel Osteen admonishes “Don’t focus on what you don’t have, focus on what you have.” I am incredibly blessed really beyond measure. I am so blessed to have someone in my life that loves me like Jennifer and a family that supports me. It was just a few years ago when I felt so alone. If you are one of those people that don’t have anyone special in your life, I grieve if you are grieving. Some people choose to be alone while for others its forced upon them. I empathize because I walked in your shoes. Not having anyone to share the holidays with can be an incredibly painful experience. More suicides happen in the holidays than any other time of year. God did sustain me through those painfully alone years. It was an amazing experience. I was alone but rarely was I lonely. I should have been lonely but I had God’s spirit sustaining me. Everyone kept encouraging me to hang in there and things will get better. They were right, Im experiencing that this very moment.
It was just one year ago today that Jennifer and I were starting our initial contact with each other through Eharmony. That is where we met. The online dating thing really worked. Granted our courtship and engagement, and marriage was blindingly fast. So much has happened in one year. I was thinking about this earlier today. Jennifer and I broke every single rule on what you are supposed to do with traditional dating and marriage. But it has worked. Really it has about as much to do with God as it does Jennifer. God clearly told me that she was the one and I was to marry her. Who am I to argue with the almighty? Its like God saying I want to give you a million dollars…are you really going to say no? So with Jennifer and I, its like we got married then started dating. We knew the essentials about each other, faith, character, values and the rest was all details. It was an added bonus to be incredibly attractive to each other. I just have to work on keeping my belly down now. We also agreed, really in our second conversation, that when we were to be married that each of us was going to make it work no matter what. So we actually knew we would be married on our second phone conversation. That is when we started talking about it. It was never if we got married, it was when. It was more a matter of fact than conjecture. It was such an odd feeling that we both almost instantly knew that we found our mate. I remember telling my mother after Jennifer and my first conversation. “I said I met her.” Normally she discounts my enthusiasm but this time my mother said, “I can’t be surprised because this is what I had been praying for.” Our story is quite remarkable really. So at this Christmas time in the desert even though things aren’t quite ideal, Im extremely joyful. God has seen fit to give me the greatest gift in a wife that loves me like Jennifer does. I can’t think of much better gift to get that that. So as all my dreams are coming true. This Christmas I pray that yours will be coming true as well. I am delighting this season in the Lord and I can honestly say I have the desires of my heart. If you don’t have the desires of your heart please let me encourage you to Seek First God…then…you’ll have it. That’s a promise.
2 comments:
I have enjoyed reading your blog posts today. This one especially spoke to me because this was a Christmas that "hit" me that I was divorced, even though it is the second Christmas since the divorce. I think last year I was still in shock that I couldn't feel much of anything. Now, I feel the aloneness.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings. They are helping me stay focused that God does have a plan for me.
Thank you so much for sharing. I indeed feel your pain. During the darkest hours of my divorce the late Jerry Falwell took me in his Suburban and we drove around Lynchburg. He told me "life moves on." I didn't believe him. Well maybe life moves on, but I will be an emotional cripple for the rest of my life. Well it took time, faith and God's restoration for me to finally get what he was trying to say. God will use this opportunity of your aloneness to fill you with His spirit. Take the time to be alone with God when you are alone. You can be alone, but you don't have to be lonely. Life for you, and everyone really, is quite simple. "Seek God First...and all these things will be added unto." So whenever you are frightened, lonely, angry, depressed, happy, joyful, or peaceful seek God. It is his desire for you to have peace no matter what the circumstances are around you. It really defies logic, but your entire house could be burning and falling all around you while you are safely tucked inside a fire proof room in the center. Picture Shadrach Meshack and Abendego in the Babylonian Furnace or Daniel in the lion's Den. God knows what you need. He will provide. Another very important thing to consider during this dark time is to love yourself. Divorce cripples a person in the esteem department. If you rush into a relationship too quickly, your esteem will be boosted as you are temporarily affirmed, but it will be short-lived. You have to love yourself before anyone else can properly love you. If not, its a co-dependent love and doomed to fail.
So hang in there. I hope you will see that my life is a testimony to how this works. Don't dwell on the past and what you don't have...consider the present at what you have and by faith the future to what you will have. God is great, and abundantly faithful. Thank you for writing.
Rick
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