Tough Day (this one is way long)

Tough Day--this is freakin' long...so feel free to skip....

Woke up this morning and finally found a good place for a fast food breakfast...Dairy Queen. Its my ritual in the morning that i do my Bible reading over hashbrowns and Diet Coke. Speaking of Bible reading since i don't have a lot friends here yet, i take my Bible everywhere i go so i never have to eat alone. Fortunately Im in 1 Samuel right now...the story and David and Saul reads more like a novel...im just glad i made it through Leviticus unscathed lol....

Today (Friday) is the weekend in Bahrain..at least Fri-Sat. Most of the Middle East observes the weekend-Days off on Thu-Fri. That is weird to get adjusted to. Bahrain recently switched because it is such an international banking country, Thu-Fri only gives you 3 working days with the rest of the business world so the extra day helps. I wanted to go with the crew to cover an event today. I wanted to see them in action so i could evaluate their talent. There was a huge relay marathon at the Formula 1 track. Bahrain has the nicest Formula one track in the world. There must have been 10,000 people there runners/teams and observers. For Bahrain...that is pretty big. I was really impressed with the mass of people. Before the race I stumbled across a team of four skinny ethiopians. I thought to myself...wait you guys are running? that's not fair. Call the race off right now. Sure enough...the ethiopians pulled through. i was really impressed with the way Manoj and Saji, our main cameramen, conducted themselves. They were aggressive and bold. I didn't have to direct them hardly at all. The more i observe the company the more im impressed with the level of talent we have at our disposal. Im going to be able to do some really effective work with these guys.

After the race I went to the office to get ahead on a video project. It sucks when you have the day off and you have nothing better to do than to go into the office. Now i love what i do...so im fortunate in that aspect. This isolation can get a little taxing. I know its only a matter of time before I get into the social scene and begin building even more friendships, but the growing pains to get there are going to be a challenge. Like i said over and over again, I hate being divorced and i miss the intimate companionship of a life partner. So if any of you are going through a stale period in your marriage and are fantasizing the "What if..." for the greener grass on the other side...please tell me so i can fly back to the U.S. and personally kick your butt. I used to be so judgmental about divorced people as if their divorce was a flaw in their character as it takes two to tango. I was so wrong for being quick to judge. From what ive learned...it takes two to marry one to end it. I was really surprised by sharing my pain and experience...people have come out of the woodwork and have said...yeah i relate to that too rick...i went through something similar. The stories are essentially the exact same, only the names are different. The one good thing about pain is sometimes its God's only way of getting your attention. I can honestly say that because of the horror of the last three years, my intimacy with God has never been stronger. God puts us in a dark tunnel sometimes where we can't see our way out. He does that so we have to feel our way out and listen for his voice. His voice will guide you out of the void. I can honestly say that God and I have conversations now. He tells me some incredibly specific things that always come to pass. Its kind of cool. What God wants most from us is relationship. Too often we just pray/talk and never stop to listen. Well now i've learned to become a very good listener. God just has to wait for me to shut up before He talks for a bit. OK lets get back to my complaint about being a little bit lonely today. You might be thinking...well Duh...you moved to the Middle East, What did you expect? Very true. But maybe if i give you a few details on how I came to this point it would provide a little insight.

Growing up, i always felt as if i had a special calling in life. I had this feeling in my gut that I was going to do great things for the Kingdom. That feeling grew and grew as i got older. Once i got married and got to Hollywood, i was ready to take the world by storm. So I said God...use me. The problem was my heart wasn't what God wanted it to be. I grew up a Christian but I had periods of compromise where i became and amateur/lukewarm Christian. If I would have success early in my career it most likely would have gone to my head and I wouldn't have a great need for God. When I left Hollywood in 2001 I felt like an absolute failure. I thought God had abandoned me. I wondered if God really had great things in store...what happened? But throughout that whole time...God continuously told me...everything is going to ok...this is all part of My plan. I went through a great deal of spiritual maturity from 2002 onwards with my missionary stints in Taiwan and later Saudi Arabia. But then my marriage fell apart while i was serving God as a missionary. I thought what's up with that God? Im serving you...yet my family, what i held most precious and dear to me, disintegrated. I searched for God and did not get bitter. I ran to Him like i had never before. He was there and he spoke to me through the dark days of the desert literally and figuratively. I had peace and joy...i wasn't happy or content...but i had peace and joy and i found that to be more powerful and sustaining than happiness. So i could tell you lots of examples of how God specifically spoke to me to encourage me along the way...they are cool..whoa types of stories. There are too many examples to mention right now. But i'll tell you if you write to me and ask. Well ok...ill give you one...i was praying one day when i was out of work...in Jan. 2007....God said everything was going to be ok...i thought God you have been telling me it was going to be ok for the last three years...im out of money, out of a job, and have two weeks til child support and rent is due. God said...ok...just to make sure you are hearing my voice, you are going to hear a song later in the day, "Hold Fast" by Mercy Me...then you'll know you are hearing my voice. i thought to myself...cool...we'll see. I had heard that song once maybe twice...so it wasn't getting a lot of airplay. Then about an hour later, i was on the phone with my friend Wayne in the car. Didn't know the radio was on...didn't know what station it was tuned to. Then whamo...there was the song. I almost crashed...but then i figured...nah...its just a coincidence. A day later, i dropped my resume off at an ad agency on Friday, the owner called me on a Sunday, went in for an interview on Monday, got the job offer one hour later, Started Tuesday, first paycheck on Wed. God sometimes delays his answers so we learn a principle that he feels its important for us to learn. Once we learn it...He sometimes moves amazingly fast. I enjoyed my time at the ad agency, but God spoke to me early on, that it would only be a temporary gig. I was praying a few weeks later in Feb. God...how much longer will this pain last? He spoke to me specifically," 6 months." Cool...i wrote in my calendar end of August was 6 months. I thought 6 months meant i was going to be reconciled with my ex-wife something i had fervently prayed about daily almost hourly for years. When August rolled around...i anticipated something happening. But God spoke..."The last week of August is going to be very difficult. You have one week to fast and pray...get ready for a tough week." So i did...the last week...was a doozy...ex was difficult and I went in on a Tuesday and got fired. I knew it was coming...I wasn't surprised...wasn't even upset. God had prepared me. How many people can say the day they got fired was a pretty good day? I felt confident and comfortable that God was taking care of me. Driving home from work, i made two calls. One was to an old friend/colleague in San Francisco. Thad Coberg picked up the phone and the first thing he said was "Brother...when you coming back to California?" I had a job offer the next day and was back in CA the next week.

Two weeks after my return to CA I was just ecstatic at God's faithfulness...full of peace joy, and yes happiness. God spoke to me...He said..."now that you are the Man that I always destined you to be...things are going to start happening for you now! You are going to change the world." God had always had that plan for me...but i slowed up the process with my own sin. I realized that maybe its God's will for me not to reconcile (she's married now so its a moot point) and God has another plan. John Osteen used to say, you can't unscramble eggs but God can make a beautiful omelette out of it. So again God spoke to me in a way i didn't really anticipate. I thought God would start working immediately so i could change the world in CA. It didn't happen that way. But I can say being back home in CA, living with my parents (as a 39 year old) I was starting over. The healing from my divorce was complete. There are scars and there always will be...but I was as complete as Im going to get.

Work at the CA company went from Great to good...to ok...to sucky to non-existent. It was August 15, when i woke up and had a talk with God in the mirror (that's how God and I have most of our conversations with me looking in the mirror) and he told me..."This is going to be a life changing day for you." A few hours later, i noticed my old position in Saudi Arabia had opened up. I never considered moving back to Saudi before but i thought...why not? Im single. I talked to my friends still at Aramco and a seed was planted in my heart. Whenever someone mentioned Saudi Arabia/Middle East my heart lept inside of me. In fact, I told my pastor Chuck Fleming of Cornerstone Church in Livermore, in late August, I said Chuck, I don't understand it, but I think Im going back to the Middle East. I also told him, I have a feeling that September is going to be a big month for me. About a week later, my company stopped the Acting School i had been teaching, which had became my primary source of income. But still i had a peace because i knew God had a plan. Two days later, I get a strange series of numbers on my caller ID. It was this guy with an English accent calling from Bahrain. We spoke for an hour, four days later I was on a plane headed across the world. God spoke to me in the lavatory (while i was looking in the mirror again) somewhere over the Persian Gulf that I was going to get the job and move to Bahrain. I spent a week with Nader and his family. I fell in love with them, they fell in love with me. Three days after I had returned...i had an official job offer. With a start date in one month later in late October.

So I know that I know that I know that Im supposed to be here. If God has a plan for me...he's also going to take care of my children. He's also going to take care of my moments of loneliness. Right now...im on an Island literally and figuratively. That's why the prayers of my friends are so vital to me right now. The Enemy only takes people on that are threat to him and his schemes. i think im a major threat now, so I've been under constant spiritual attack for sometime. Im keeping the faith...and am going to weather this storm. God will see me through...He has before...he'll do it again. I have so many blessings i can count so i hope this doesn't come across as whining. How many times do you ask someone how they are doing...and they say Great...and how many times to do they say pretty darn lousy. I've always prided myself on being an open book. This is who i am and sometimes i hurt. Sometimes...you get knocked down, as long as you get up before the 10 count you'll be ok. God is faithful.

Rick