Two good days in a row…awesome. When I say “good” I think I need to explain how the definition of good is entirely subjective. It’s meaning has changed quickly in my life. To me “good” days means days that weren’t awful. I am starting to string a few of these together. I felt moments of joy return to my life in fleeting moments. I’ve mentioned before the difference I’m feeling between happiness and joy. Happiness is circumstantial whereas Joy is not. Nothing big happened that would cause me to have a great day, but it was satisfying nonetheless. In the months of darkness and heaviness I’ve experienced in the last year, it was a welcome respite.
Today was a teacher work day. I was able to Telework so I didn’t have to do my long drive into school. I also made sure I got all my work done on Saturday and this morning so I could have my afternoon free. I’m really digging the teaching schedule. I shouldn’t have been so averse to teaching for all these years. My wife talked me into teaching for the stability. While it might not be as exciting as the Film/tv industry it’s certainly more sustainable. Plus I have a captive audience to tell all my entertainment stories to. I have A LOT of stories.
It’s so nice on the days where you can wake up without an alarm. So I got up somewhat early and finished my work related obligations. Then I was able to go for a nice long walk to Burger King. I know, the idea of fast food counteracts the idea of exercise, so that is why I walked. So they would (In my mind anyway) cancel each other out. As I was about to leave I got a call that I needed to hang out with my middle daughter today. “Oh no…don’t throw me in the brier patch” cried Brer Rabbit.” OK most of you won’t get that reference. When I was a kid I loved a movie called Song of the South from Disney. It was a mix of live action and animation. It featured the song “Zip pad dee do da. Zippity Day. My oh my what a wonderful day” sung by Uncle Remus. Now I grew up in the 70s before the era cancel culture. Yes in hindsight that movie is incredibly racist because it took place on a plantation with the representation of slaves. I believe it was set in the 1850s. So yeah, maybe corporate Disney was right in erasing it from it’s books. (Half of Disney’s old catalogue couldn’t be produced today.) Remember that Snow White/Sleeping Beauty’s spell was broken with a kiss. Did the prince get their consent beforehand? Those films were still an important part of my childhood and I didn’t grow up racist. Racism is a learned behavior from your parents and friends. I often tell people one of the greatest things I’ve ever accomplished was living overseas as a minority. I have empathy now with other minorities. I can relate to them like very few Americans can relate to them. That’s why I HATE when minorities are mistreated. On my father’s side my grandmother’s family emigrated from Germany in the 1900s to escape the growing threat of Nationalism and the Third Reich before it got bad. On my mother’s side in the 1830’s my ancestors were forced from their land in Florida by the US Government because of Manifest Destiny. What a load of crap Manifest Destiny was. Manifest Destiny was essentially the government saying If we want your land, we’re going to take it because you know…Merica. Imagine 100,000 people moving halfway across the US to land West of the Mississippi (Arkansas, Oklahoma) to lands that no one wanted. Why? Because white people wanted those swamplands and the beach front properties. Thousands of people died on the journey because they just didn’t have buses to move all those people they weren’t invented yet. America has done some pretty shameful things over the years and Im about as Patriotic as they come. But I’m also honest. I don’t want to see mistakes of the past being repeated. Im worried. I’m not a big fan of ICE.
Ok I’m off my soap box now. Where was I? I unexpectedly got to hang out with my middle daughter. It’s such a breath of fresh air having someone I love with me. We didn’t do much. We just hung out, watched a few shows and had dinner together. That was a really good day. It doesn’t take much to make me happy these days as long as we’re moving forward and not backwards. Time heals all wounds. As long as there is another day in the books, I’m one day closer to that healing. King David in the Psalms asked God to make Haste to deliver him from oppression. I’m doing the same thing asking God to make Haste for me. I can’t force God to do anything. But prayer helps me adapt to my situation easier. Each day seems to be getting better than the day before as long as I’m doing my part in not messing it up. Days where I can see my family again certainly aid in that endeavor. I love them so much and miss them terribly. I did experience this loneliness before when I lived/worked in Saudi Arabia for a year. This is much harder. Even though I’m less than 10 miles away…emotionally it feels like I’m half a world away. Still when I see them, I’m not that far anymore. I’m grateful and I’m joyful for that. I’m going for three days in a row tomorrow.
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