100 Requests and the Pathway to Hope

 A strange sensation came over me today. I was still somewhat depressed from the remnants of a great weekend to the polarity of an empty house.  So I’m glad there is a clinical diagnosis for it (https://rickbeeman.blogspot.com/2025/10/adjustment-disorder-with-depressed-mood.html) so it shows that I’m not alone.  This whole depression thing is such a novel concept.  I like to think of myself as the most optimistic guy on the planet.  Yet these circumstances are really challenging me.  One of my places of refuge is the school.  I try to leave my home issues behind.  The students don’t know and most don’t care what I’m going through.  I might have mentioned something about the separation at the beginning of the year but they have minds like goldfish when it comes to other people’s problems.  They have dire (in their minds) issues of their own.  I try to be the cool, firm but fair teacher.  I do have a few issues with students and it all revolves around their PHONES.  What are we unleashing upon society with these kids and their dependence on their pocket computers of escape?  I was wandering through the commons where there are hundreds of kids waiting before school starts, yet more than 75% of them were locked in on their devices not interacting with anyone.  It was a bizarre scene.

OK, so one of the student’s mentioned to another to watch out, I was in a bad mood.  I was.  I try not to be in bad moods often because negativity begets negativity.  I try to model Christ in everything I do.  Being in a bad mood, being mean, angry or lonely doesn’t reflect Christ very well.  One of my favorite quotes is from St. Francis of Assissi “Preach the Gospel always, when necessary use words.”  So I was quite convicted with the bad mood part.  I can tell that most of the students like me.  I’m different than most teachers being Lateral Entry, meaning I had a career before teaching.  I have a different perspective on education and I think it works.   There is even a culture of students wanting to use their extra free time to organize themselves into writing/producing/editing special projects with little supervision from me.  This initiative thrills me.  I always have regrets at the Seniors I’ve trained up leaving only to be pleasantly surprised with the new batch of Freshmen and Sophomores ready to take the reins.  I have my class set up where I can have Beginning (first year), Intermediate (Second year) and Advanced Students in the same classroom.  The advanced students don’t have to do all the homework but they are tasked with helping train the beginning students on the equipment and the nuances of production.  It’s a pretty good system.  Better education/experience for them and less work for me.  Win-win.  I’m a bit sad when my third year students (I’ve had two thus far) graduate.  

So I just have to power through these days.  I came home still in a bit of a lonely stupor.  My evening classes got cancelled so I had a bit of time on my hands.  I went to work out, but had to cut it short due to low blood sugar.  That’s one of the hassles of diabetes.  You constantly have to adjust your Insulin intake when exercising and when not exercising.  It’s a delicate balance.  So after my abbreviated work out, I dug into some personal homework I had meaning to get to.  My dear friend from college is a Pastor in Alabama.  He read this blog and reached out to me.  He’s going to partner with me through this season.  What a God send he is.  One of the tasks that he asked me to do was write a list of 100 things that I wanted God to do for me.  It’s called Faith In Action: The 100 Requests challenge.  One of the verses that accompanies this challenge is Habakkuk 1:2.  

“Write down the revelation

    and make it plain on tablets

    so that a herald may run with it.

3 For the revelation awaits an appointed time;

    it speaks of the end

    and will not prove false.

Though it linger, wait for it;

    It will certainly come

    and will not delay.

So I figured I’d give it a shot.  I’m a writer so i thought I could come up with at least 20-25 and come back for the rest later.  About 20 minutes later I had 109 detailed things I was praying for God to do in my life.  God likes specifics, so I was quite specific.  Suddenly my mood was lightened.  Did anything happen to make me hopeful?  No, the only thing that changed was my perspective.  Suddenly I was filled with hope.  The prayers (some might consider a pipe dream) were my way of crying out to God to test Him.  It’ll be interesting to look back at this list in 10 years time to see what has come to fruition.  The Bible also clearly states, “without a vision the people perish.”  This list/task/homework assignment has given me vision.  I dedicated it to Lord and we’ll see what comes of it.  

I was feeling good after the list and went to Costco for a cheap dinner.  I needed Gas too and it’s close by.  It reminded me of my late father who would often drive 20 miles to get gas that was 10 cents cheaper.  We tried to explain the faulty economics to him but to no avail.  But I figured if I could get gas, eat cheap, and workout (there’s a Planet Fitness across the street) It would be a productive outing.  So I was able to eat and finish the second half of my workout.  Along the way, I’m filled with hope and in a good mood.  I just have to survive the week, scratch that survive the month/year.   I felt the spirit tell me it would be a challenging week and thus far it has been.  I’m hoping my perspective will help me navigate it emotionally well.  Once again, thank you for reading and your support.  It’s nice to come home and have someone (even in a weird cyber way) to share my day with.  It’s healing for me.  I appreciate you.