Nothing worked again!

 This isn’t going to be a long one today but I thought I should write a bit. After such a tough week It ended on a high note.  It actually was a good and happy day.  I’m back to feeling hope again after a week of feeling like I was emotionally kicked in the teeth.  What was different about this turnaround is that I didn’t have my daughters this weekend to help lift my mood or distract me.  I spent the entire weekend alone.  I say alone, but I was with God the entire time.  It really was a revelation.  Men are fixers, we want to fix things.  So God clearly spoke to me, I am to do nothing.  That sounds so counter-intuitive.  When I’ve tried to fix my situation(s) in the past I usually only mess things up more.  I am totally relying upon God at this point.  There are still moments of extreme despair but also moments of peace.  I’m learning not to over-react to the despair.  I know that God will see me through, I just don’t always know exactly how it will look or how long it will take.  

I did several healthy things for me this weekend.  I was in my weekend routine.  I picked up a couple of early morning amazon shifts, went to a meeting, conversed with a brother that is in a way worse than me, went to church, prayed with a dear friend, (I’m the guy that goes forward every week for prayer at the end of the service.  I feel the more people that pray for my family the better off we’’ll be.  So if you’re reading, if you wouldn’t mind sending up a prayer of your own, I’d appreciate it.  Specifically if you could pray for God’s guidance, wisdom, protection and revelation for my family.  Thank you)  I worked out all weekend, and even wrote a lot.  I’m trying to finish the second draft of a screenplay.  It’s the second best thing I’ve ever written (IMHO).  Writing is easy, selling is really hard.  I’m hoping to finish soon so I can try to market it.  It was easier to connect with industry people when I lived in Los Angeles.  But now that I have a different zip code, it’s exponentially harder to connect.  I have to think that God is on my side so hopefully there are a few divine connections out there.  

The weekend was finished up by watching the Super Bowl.  More than the game itself, I love watching the commercials.  There was one commercial in particular that really got to me.  There was one commercial about neighborhoods and community and I just started bawling.  I mean really boo-hooing.  It was a culmination of all the losses I experienced over the past year and God’s faithfulness in walking beside me through all of it.  I am so blessed and I am so looking forward to the rest of my life.  That is quite a difference from Wednesday I know.  I just have to be prepared for these wild emotional swings.  If I anticipate them, they shouldn’t knock me down.  I just have to be prepared to do Nothing.  Nothing works.