Rick Beeman

We haven’t had internet access at the office for the last two days and it has totally thrown me off my routine. Maybe I spend a little too much time on the internet, but I use it to keep me on task. It’s a crazy thing about my work mode. Im the most productive when I have a ridiculous amount of work to get done. When I have a little to do, I have such a hard time getting anything done. Its such a psychological quandary. It has been raining here the last couple of days, and again when I say rain I should say drizzle or heavy mist. Still the roads are crazy. Arabs just don’t know how to drive in not really inclement weather, it’s barely inclement weather. There were four times as many accidents on the road yesterday as opposed to a normal day. They just are so not used to rain. They don’t know how to handle it when it does come. I booked my ticket to Dubai for next week. Since I didn’t have Internet, I ran off to Burger King for the Free Wifi so I got my work done there. Im ...

I want to thank those of you who prayed for me. It became clear to me a few hours into my day that my discouragement was really a spiritual attack. I should have seen it coming. I was in a depression because Im a one again and I miss my kids. The financial crisis is hitting us hard at work, and there is some questions about job security. Plus yesterday I gave my one month notice that I will vacate my apartment. Where will I move??? I have enjoyed living here especially with its proximity to all the American restaurants within walking distance. I did get a three bedroom flat. I wanted the extra two bedrooms in case my children wanted to visit, which they hadn’t. So its been kind of a waste of space. But maybe I shouldn’t consider it a waste of space. It is a big place and it has allowed me to comfortably hold several parties and my weekly positive living group. More on that in a moment. But there is a certain amount of security having you’re a place to call your home and w...

Wow, Im just having a hard time being inspired. Normally Im so optimistic and hopeful but now I feel a little like Im on an emotional roller coaster. If you read back on this blog you’ll see writing of a lot of optimism and self-reflection. Perhaps Im just in a holding pattern anticipating my big meeting next week at the Dubai Film Festival. I’m very hopeful about that. The success or failure of that meeting will greatly determine my strategy over the course of the next few months. I have written continuously in this blog that I believed that December was going to be a big big month. Perhaps since its here, Im a little bit worried that it might not be a big month. If its not a big month, then what about all those things that I felt that Lord impressed upon me, what if they are not true either. I think Im under a little bit of a spiritual attack of doubt. God is not a god of fear so I know these emotions are not coming from Him. Because I put my faith out there in this blog t...

What an active day it was today. Pretty much the absolute polar opposite of yesterday. I think I was a little down yesterday because I always tend to get a little lonely on the weekends. Usually during the week there is so much activity I don’t have a chance to ponder my loneliness. But yesterday was a little bit worse since I was with my boys last weekend. So that really took its toll on me. Perhaps it was a spiritual test too. I tried to remain positive and hopeful. Well…it must have worked because as bad as yesterday was for me emotionally, today is just as good. I got up early to play Russ at Racquetball on the Navy Base. Its always good to get on the base for the Taco Bell afterwards. You don’t know how much you miss a gordita until you can’t have one. Then straight away it was over to the British Club for squash with Darren. Playing both squash and racquetball on the same day was a bit of a challenge. Im wiped out now. I came back for a quick shower then I was off...

It was a very different day today for me. I stayed up the night before chatting and talking to friends until five in the morning. So I guess Im not over my jetlag yet. Its funny. I find it much easier to adjust when I travel west. But whenever I travel east it takes a little bit longer. The good thing is that Im still functional for the most part. Since it’s the weekend, I have no problem with staying up late. Plus with all my friends in the U.S. the time difference makes it a little more convenient to talk. So I slept in really late today. I think im having a hard time admitting that I’m a little sick. I feel normal for the most part, just a little congested and I lost my voice. But I was really feeling it this morning. So a friend recommended plenty of rest and fluids. So sleeping in until 2:00 pm seemed in order. I don’t think I’ve ever done that before. Today was amazingly relaxed, after watching season 3 of The Family Guy I finally got going. I wnt to Fuddruckers a...

Last night at the Improv contest I was approached by the manager of the Hotel. He really wanted me to have dinner as his personal guest the next night. He was very insistent. So I agreed. It was really cool. He treated me like a five star guest. The food was good and the company was nice to. The manager is from India, Im fond of Indians and he was fond of Americans. Its always polite here to ask about how your family is doing. Its considered proper etiquette. But that is always an awkward question with me. When people ask me questions, Im usually pretty straight forward. They ask me how Im doing, and if Im doing lousy…I tell them. The look on their face is always pretty comical as they don’t know how to react. Should they just ignore the response, probe deeper and ask why, or just ignore. So whenever Im asked about my family or if my family is living with me, it’s a loaded question. I usually tell them about the break up of my marriage and the estrangement of my daughte...

A lot of interesting things happening at work. As you might have read the creditors are really cramping down on Dubai. Dubai’s economy and growth skyrocketed so quickly because of reckless credit. Most of the buildings were financed 90%. Thus when the credit crunch hit, it was like when the great stock market crashed in 1929. Everyone rushed to get their money out. Dubai will be fine in the long run because it has Abu Dhabi to bail them out. Abu Dhabi’s growth has been slow and steady because of oil. But I do think Abu Dhabi will let Dubai twist a bit before bailing them out. The rivalry is a little like San Francisco—Los Angeles, or Houston—Dallas. In some ways the crisis is hitting Bahrain that is why things are pretty tenuous at work. Im refusing to give into fear or speculate about my future here. Nothing is set or solid either. Im just walking by faith. God has brought me here thus far, Im sure he won’t let me down. Now…its not pollyannish or like stork puts his hea...

It didn’t hit me until about five minutes ago…the jetlag that is. I must be getting better at acclimating. I think the key is to just stay up even when you are exhausted. So Im pretty tired right now, and if I just hang on for another 30 minutes, I think I’ll be ok. The trick is, not to wake up in the middle of the night then be awake for the next three hours. I had an interesting realization…actually I had realized this before, but sometimes I need to remind myself. Whenever I go on a vacation, I get out of routine. When I say out of routine I mean out of my devotional walk. Thus my spiritual strength and energy is a little bit sapped. So when the attacks/problems come Im more susceptible. It was a tough week for me emotionally with my children and all the drama that has been noted in this blog. Because I didn’t have my spiritual guard up, this hurt a little bit more emotionally than at other times. Most of the times, the emotional effects bounce off me like bullets off of...

I apologize for not keeping regularly updated accounts on my blog. But since I had so precious little time to spend with my boys, I wanted to focus it all on them. I went out and played basketball with my boys and then played catch with the football with Spencer. Stuff I love to do and something a dad should do with his boys. I love my kids so much. I hate being away from them. They always throw it in my face that I chose to live in Bahrain (something X drills into them). Yes that is true. But I was thinking about this earlier. It seems that there is the most conflict with X whenever I am coming back into town, or whenever I have a potential love interest. The conflict seems to ratcheted up a few levels on that end. Plus we have this whole “drama addiction” which X denies that plays out every 3-4 weeks. If I lived closer the kids would be more directly caught in the crossfire. Since I live so far away the kids are only indirectly affected. So in a sense, I think this is t...

What a nice day I had with the boys. I won’t be able to see my daughter again, but at least I get my boys Im happy about that. The boys have to re-acclimate to me. They’ve warmed up now, and it is absolutely wonderful. Im not going to write a lot the rest of the week as Im going to focus on the precious few hours that I have with them. Instead, Im going to copy and paste an email I got today from new hubby. I think he reveals plenty of his character through this. New hubby and X can justify their actions and twist their words with the best of them. I realize by posting and even responding to their shenanigans is simply adding fuel to their smoldering fire. I can’t defend myself directly to them. That last 10 times Ive communicated verbally to them over the phone has ended with a barrage of cursing and them hanging up on me. Which my daughter is now doing as they have modeled for her. I realize Im taking the bait and feeding into the drama addiction that they need. This add...

Its an interesting quandary Im in. To blog or not to blog. Im sure this will create quite a firestorm. We did have a very nice Thanksgiving. My middle son, and my parents and I all went out to a fabulous and trendy restaurant in downtown Houston. The food was absolutely fabulous. But there was a heaviness at the meal. My youngest and oldest both decided to skip Thanksgiving meal and have it with X and new hubby’s family. Everyone is adamant on that side that it was the children’s choice. I think what we have here is yet another example of parental alienation. I have a feeling im being vilified in that house in a very subtle manner. The subtly is one of the main factors in Parental Alienation. I don’t think the children should have a choice in where they spend the holidays especially since X is so adamant about going by the decree. According to the decree its my year. Its peculiar, when the kids were younger, I would often ask them where they wanted to go eat, Burger Kin...

I’m going through a lot of strange emotions right now. I haven’t posted in the blog in a couple of days, because I’ve been on vacation, its nice to take a break. But if you read between the lines the blog still has been generating a lot of activity via all the comments. I think it would be a lot easier if X and new hubby just stopped reading the blog. I just don’t see why they do write this. Its not as if any of their new friends read this. And for the most part very few people know who they actually are. Its seems like they would have more important things to do with their time rather than seek outlets to express bitterness, rage, sarcasm and hate. Life is too short for that. Im not writing this for them or any specific person in particular (although it does save me several phone calls and guilt trips from my mother as she keeps tabs on me this way.) This an introspective look at one man as he traverses the emotional pitfalls of divorce, recovery and rebirth. There aren’t...

I had such a great weekend with my boys. Its just strange though. Everytime I visit with them there is a re-acclimation period that takes place. Usually its about 24 hours sometimes it’s a little longer. Im not sure if I should consider it a de-programming and re-programming situation or not. I know from the hints that I hear there is a lot propaganda thrown against me in that house. If there is something wrong its usually daddy’s fault because he moved to Bahrain. I pick this up in both words and actions. But I don’t want to defend myself as that would be putting them in the middle. I do find myself having to bite my tongue more than a few times as I don’t want to say anything bad about X in front of them. What is also an adjustment period for me is their age. They are getting older and they want to be treated like adults. Now the boys are still 14 and 11, and I understand part of that. It’s a maturation process that Im not privy to for an extended period because of the g...

I had such a great weekend with my boys. Its just strange though. Everytime I visit with them there is a re-acclimation period that takes place. Usually its about 24 hours sometimes it’s a little longer. Im not sure if I should consider it a de-programming and re-programming situation or not. I know from the hints that I hear there is a lot propaganda thrown against me in that house. If there is something wrong its usually daddy’s fault because he moved to Bahrain. I pick this up in both words and actions. But I don’t want to defend myself as that would be putting them in the middle. I do find myself having to bite my tongue more than a few times as I don’t want to say anything bad about X in front of them. What is also an adjustment period for me is their age. They are getting older and they want to be treated like adults. Now the boys are still 14 and 11, and I understand part of that. It’s a maturation process that Im not privy to for an extended period because of the g...

I had such a great weekend with my boys. Its just strange though. Everytime I visit with them there is a re-acclimation period that takes place. Usually its about 24 hours sometimes it’s a little longer. Im not sure if I should consider it a de-programming and re-programming situation or not. I know from the hints that I hear there is a lot propaganda thrown against me in that house. If there is something wrong its usually daddy’s fault because he moved to Bahrain. I pick this up in both words and actions. But I don’t want to defend myself as that would be putting them in the middle. I do find myself having to bite my tongue more than a few times as I don’t want to say anything bad about X in front of them. What is also an adjustment period for me is their age. They are getting older and they want to be treated like adults. Now the boys are still 14 and 11, and I understand part of that. It’s a maturation process that Im not privy to for an extended period because of the g...

I had a wonderful day with my boys, but I don't want to write too much about it now. I'll have some more time to write tomorrow.

Im somewhere over Copenhagen now. The flight from Dubai to Houston kind of curves north, whereas the flight from Dubai to San Francisco goes directly over the North Pole. So no spotting Santa on this trip. What is strange that the flight from Dubai to either San Francisco or Houston is the same length at 17 hours. That is really weird for me to comprehend. Im so excited to get to see my boys. I was looking through some old pictures of when they were younger. I try not to do that too much as it just makes me melancholy, but seeing them tomorrow/today makes the anticipation build. I would have loved to have seen them a little longer, but X refused to grant me additional time. She really is locked into that decree. That is the only measure where she still can control me or try to control. My flight left Bahrain at 3:50 AM, my friend Moody was kind of to drive me to the airport at 2:00 AM. Another nice thing about Bahrain, even on an international flight, it takes you all of 20 ...

You know what…this really shouldn’t have been a great day. It should have been one of the worst…but it wound up being a great great day. I was determined to get stressed about potentially losing my phone. But the tests just kept on coming. I made my reservation to fly home two months ago. So I booked them to fly out on the 19th. There is only one flight out at that is 3:50 am. So all this time Im thinking I fly out on Thur. Night/Fri Morning…when in actuality it was Wed. Night/Thur morning. So I woke up this morning…with kind of a sick feeling. I checked my ticket and sure enough. I missed my flight. Boy did I feel foolish. I hopped in the car and headed to the ticketing agent. The traffic was horrible…the longest it had ever taken me to drive that section. But I was determined to stay calm and not get upset over the situation. I got to the ticket agent and was able to rebook my ticket for only the cancellation fee of $75 and the difference in ticket cost which was $125....

What a busy day today. I have a lot of work I need to do before I leave. I have to re-edit a project before I leave tomorrow (Project #1) and I have to make sure that everything is taken care of for project #3 is re-edited by someone by the time I’m gone. This is not the 12th edit and they are wanting it redone to help celebrate national day…which is very similar to our 4th of July. National Day is usually around December 20th so they decorate everything in red and white so it looks a little bit like Christmas. I had to head over the Bahrain TV today. I met with the top person there. This was a courtesy visit on his part. We are doing a project for a sister governmental organization and they are helping us out. So they wanted to get together on a social setting which was very nice. Everyone knew I was coming and everyone knew my name. We were in the paper today…so that helped too. One of the benefits I have is that everyone knows Khalifa Shaheen here. I mentioned this in p...

I was having such a problem getting motivated at work. Then blamo…everything hit at once. Now Im incredibly busy. Project #3 which already had 10 edits and has been duplicated with 1000 dvd’s is now being redone. The revised script makes it almost like an entirely new project. The good thing is that we get to charge for the re-edit so its almost like a new client. We’ll make changes all day long as long as the client pays for it. But the final product has very little resemblance to the original. The original was so nice and poetic, yet this thing has been so chopped up by the political powers that be, its quite homogenous now. At least I have the director’s cut. William Goldman, the famous American Screenwriter, once said if you can keep 50% of your original draft by the time you hit the screen…consider yourself a huge success. Well…I’ve kept about 20% of the original draft. I’ll post it on youtube after the event. Now the tricky part for me is that they want all these cha...